Thoughts on a Dead Gorilla named Harambe

I’ve heard folks go on and on about how intelligent the great apes are. For the most part, all the experts (Jane Goodall et al) all confirm that a Great Ape (such as the lowland silverback gorilla) have the equivalent intelligence of around a four year old.

Not having personally observed a four year old gorilla, I have to take the word of an expert. I will now go officially on record to say that I agree and accept the premise of experts that a silverback gorilla’s intelligence and mental development is that of a four year old human child.

Got that? I agree with the experts on the intelligence and mental development of gorilla’s.

I have, on the other hand, witnessed firsthand, on four distinct occasions in my lifetime, the intelligence and mental development of a four-year-old human child. One girl and three boys worth (current ages being 35, 28, 18, 17, girl being oldest).

Let me tell ya, four-year-olds all behave the same, because INSTINCT has yet to be bred out of them and replaced with GOOD MANNERS and or socially-acceptable behaviors.

I can also say with utter surety, that if it weren’t for ADULTS trying to “train out” the instinctual behaviors of said offspring when they hit the four-year-old mark and simply let the four year olds BE four-year-olds, these same-said adults who are now all butt-hurt over the dead gorilla would be nodding sagely and saying “Yep….that kid was in danger, no doubt about it.”

You see…here’s the thing about four-year-olds…they are selfish, possessive, and obstinate as hell, and if you’ve ever observed four-year-olds in a sandbox, you can immediately see the actions of the gorilla for what they were….this was something new, he’s the Alpha, and the new-and-shiny thing that just dropped in from the sky immediately became “Its Mine! Its Mine!”

Sorry folks….that animal was not “protecting the boy”. That animal was, in fact, “protecting” what it deemed was his property, by right of his social stature as Alpha male. The kid fell in, the ape went to investigate. Immediately upon getting close to the kid, the crowd of hairless apes standing on the other side of the moat began INSTINCTUALLY yelling, screaming, waving their arms, and baring their teeth as their pie-holes widened in the attempt to turn up the volume of their instinctual screeching.

Do yourselves a favor and go watch YouTube videos of how apes behave with each other….when a group of them wants something that one of them has claimed, they all start screeching, waving their arms, and baring their teeth. The so-called human “adults” were behaving like apes with a four-year-old mentality when said apes want something that another ape has claimed.

Harambe, as Alpha, was protecting what he deemed was his in accordance with HIS social pecking-order status of HIS group that lives in HIS enclosure. And as the Alpha, he was free to do with said property as he felt. If he decided that he wanted a snack, that four-year-old boy was nothing more than a Twinkie or a Ho-Ho, or a can of Pringles.

The zoo acted properly, they acted as quickly as they could, and a HUMAN life was saved.

Thats right…I place the value of a human life higher on the pecking order than other life. Sue me…I’m a carnivore, and I’ve killed my food before. Just because we, as humans are evolved from the same tree as the great apes, doesn’t mean that I’m all squishy-feely about Harambe as some sort of a far-distant relative.

Quite to the contrary, I understand the danger of a four-year-old mind stuffed into a 400 pound package that could probably bench-press easily twice its weight. If that thought doesn’t scare the bejesus out of you, nothing will.

So yeah….while its unfortunate that a member of an endangered species had to be put down, it was the proper action. And for the Love of Christ, stop blaming the parents. Four-year-olds are sneaky and slippery things. This was not the fault of the parents.

Just knock it off already.

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